ジ・オニオンのインスタグラム(theonion) - 5月5日 05時49分

Sources from back alleys in every state confirmed that as soon as the U.S. House of Representatives passed the bill known as Trumpcare, their filth-strewn, sidestreet-based facilities began scrambling to add personnel and expand into nearby shuttered warehouses and vacant lots in order to meet the increased demand for services expected from low-income families, elderly Americans, individuals with pre-existing conditions, and others who will have decreased access to health coverage. “We’re gonna have thousands of people coming through here soon, and right now we’re just not ready for them,” said Durham, NC man Curtis Hendershaw, who spoke from a narrow alleyway behind the Dragon Inn Chinese restaurant, adding that he had already begun making calls to all the unlicensed physicians and disgraced former medical professionals he knows. “We’re used to stitching a guy up here and there, but as soon as insurers can drop essential benefits and impose annual payment caps, we’ll be doing all sorts of major surgeries, pediatric services, mental health treatment, you name it.” #TheOnion

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