レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 4月18日 08時52分

I have lived in Aruba for over 7 years. Before that, Costa Rica for almost 3. I've been living away from my family for close to a decade; more than a third of my life, and it's always been ok. I go to Sweden a few times a year and they visit a ton and in between there is FaceTime and Skype and it works.
Living far away has never, not once, been a challenge. Up until now. Lea Luna is here and all of a sudden I don't know how to live without my mom. I literally don't know how we are going to function 5,000 miles apart.
Our relationship has always been so intense and beautiful and messy and complicated and full of pain and love and there were times when I needed to be far, far away. Part of why I left home in the first place was because I needed space - we were always so close I never knew where she ended and where I began. Her pain became mine and at times it was too much for me to bare. I left because... I had to become my own person. And now it's been 10 years and we've done more work than I knew possible. Two years ago things took a turn for the worse and I thought we took a huge step back but I see now: we were actually moving forward. There are no mistakes. Nothing is random. We made it through and I'm not scared that she is going to die anymore. I don't have to worry about her happiness because now, for the first time, I know she does. And five weeks ago baby angel was born and literally catapulted us into absolute unconditional love. We are a family again. Or, we've always been, but for the first time since I was little I feel it in my bones. We belong together. Luna affirms it. This tiny little creature... She has changed everything. She has healed everything. She arrived and all of a sudden, everything makes sense and where there were wounds before now there is only love.
My mom just got on a plane and I'm crying like I'm grieving - it hurts like grief. I don't want to be apart anymore. Lea Luna wants us close. So I guess the question is... What now?
#family

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