キャリー＝アン・モスのインスタグラム(carrieannemoss) - 1月14日 02時35分

Yep ::: #Repost @iheartfeeleez
・・・
Tongue out, hands on hips. Look familiar? And what a TRIGGER huh? A real blood-boiler.
It's tempting to want to leap into action, nip this bad behavior in the bud. That's our job right?

Yes and no.
The problem is that the behavior is just the part of the iceberg that juts out of the water. It's just the part we can see. The bulk of it, the real stuff, lies under the waterline. You *could* address that tip but it won't have any effect on that powerful hidden bulk.
Whenever possible, corral your own emotions well enough to allow yourself to look below the surface. This is where to invest your parenting power. Work with your child in this unseen terrain and what you see rising to the surface will change.
What does it look like on a practical level? It means ignoring your impulse to grab and punish, it means noting your own emotions and offering yourself empathy, it means choosing to get curious instead of mad, ("That posture tells me you are feeling something. Are you mad? Are you bothered by something?"), it means demonstrating again and again that you are someone they can share with as soon as they feel something instead of letting it build up and inspire defiance or antagonism, it means waiting until the emotions inspiring the behavior have been heard and understood and only then sharing how the tongue-out, hands on hips behavior felt from your side, it means saving all of your adult logic until they can process the information, it means looking at your child not as a wild beast that needs to be wrangled and squashed but as a small person struggling to find a place for their emotion.
Easy? No. But neither is losing your sh*t just because someone stuck their tongue out at you. ❤️ #empathy #parentingadvice
#family
#emotionalintelligence

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