デイン・クックのインスタグラム(danecook) - 1月6日 08時09分

It's raining in California but I'm wearing a t with the sun shining bc that's what the fuck I do. Sometimes when it's sunny I wear a monsoon shirt. Or I'll throw on my wind chill bathing suit. Whatfrickenever castaways.
I just know I'm feeling good #day5 into 2017 and no weather is going to effect my clothing choices. If lava falls from the sky imma bust out a Comic Relief 8 t-shirt and wears it well. If a gust of wind comes I might just don a pair of crocks and sip on an ICEE. One time I took my shirt off on the bus and flexed so hard it rang the stop this bus bell and the bus stopped and people exited starry eyed.
I have a t shirt that says GLIMMER OF HOPE and I wear it when the Fail Police come knocking at my garage door. Whatsssssss upppppppppp?!
I have a tattoo on my large intestine that is a biblical passage from a rewrite of the Bible called Bibleland about a theme park that has bible rides that reads, "you must be this FAITHED to ride" and instead of the hand on the tattoo showing height it's two hands showing THE WAY!
I Postmated my order to my Uber while in a driverless car run on Google Magic and then the order got to my stoplight I gave my food to a couple of teenagers looking for trouble but instead found NOURISHMENT ya fucks.
I can't tell you anything else about this pic except I used a filter called BARK and I don't know why it's called that when all it did was punch up the contrast and give me a little more definition on my arms. But I'll let you be the judge of me. Comment away.. tag me or flush your phone down a toilet in the South Pacific sea. Do it I double dog dare you.
2017 is already my year. In fact.. secret diary entry revealed. I called shotgun on 2017 in fucking 2009. Yeah it's called foresight and it's in my back pocket of my jean shorts. Tomorrow I'm wearing an umpires vest and holding a universal remote control pointer towards the skies and I'm turning all of North Koreas televisions off. In fact hold on I'm doing it now.
You want more? Keep reading and ignore your crying baby. I already gave your kid a pacifier and on it a quote from the hit broadway musical #hamilton but you knew I would do that because I'm a futurist. #bye

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