サラ・ドリューのインスタグラム(thesarahdrew) - 7月6日 03時24分

This!!!! #Repost @glennondoylemelton with @repostapp
・・・
There was this one night in college when things were really bad. I was so sick & lost & broken. I was failing out & I’d hurt so many people, so many times. And I thought: This is IT. I’ve run out of tries. I can’t ask for forgiveness again. I’ve used up so much more than my fair share. I should do everyone I love a favor and disappear.

There on the couch in that dirty basement, I thought of suicide. It would keep me from having to face my people & my pain & shame yet again. It felt like scary, sweet relief and it registered with me, like how you find the exit doors in a theatre before the show starts. Just in case. Once the exit door registers for you- it never fully unregisters. You always remember where the doors are. Just in case the shame gets too heavy. Effing shame. It’s never the pain that takes us out of the game-it’s the SHAME about the pain.

That night in that basement, I imagined it–but I didn’t do it. Apparently the way you avoid suicide is not to become a different person (!) or fix yourself (!) or HEAL (?) or become amazing (!!!). Survival is actually not that complicated, shiny or exciting. The way you avoid suicide is you don’t commit suicide. You wait the despair monster out.
Despair is loud, but it’s a LIAR. Here is the truth: THERE IS NO RUNNING OUT OF TRIES. LIFE IS FOREVER TRIES. Every heartbeat is proof that you’ve got another try. Listen to me: If your people are tired of you, find some new people. Find a meeting. No matter how much you have screwed up, YOU MUST BE FIERCELY ON YOUR OWN SIDE. If you are not, no one else will ever be. You must hold your jacked-up, medicated head high. You must remember that even if it hasn’t been pretty, YOU’VE MADE IT THIS FAR. We can do hard things. Like survive.

Listen, those with the capacity to feel great pain are also those with the capacity to feel deep joy. Those who fall hard, RISE gloriously. Those who are deeply wounded become the greatest healers. Those who come close to death often become the MOST ALIVE. You might be one of the extra bad ones, but that means you are also one of the extra good ones.
Please stay. First the pain, then th

[BIHAKUEN]UVシールド(UVShield)

>> 飲む日焼け止め！「UVシールド」を購入する