イリザ・シュレシンガーのインスタグラム(ilizas) - 3月17日 23時37分

When you partied all night and you wake up and know you did a good job at life then you transfer in Houston and the United Club had hard boiled eggs, capers, onions and bacon- pretty fancy for a domestic waiting area. But you decide to give Little Hip only a scrappling of bacon so she doesn't get sick then you eat like 5 bowls of Frosted Mini Wheats and you love that cereal so much that you say "fuck it" and drink the 2% milk instead of soy or almond (since it's Houston and they don't use such liberal things) and then 10 minutes later your throat itches and you're a little farty. You also took out your contacts on the plane so you can't see and have been low key stalking this Pittsburgh business dad who is also in the lounge and who you know is on your flight, so you've just been keeping a blurry eye on him for when he goes to the gate since you can't find your way and he will be your guide... This story was about me.

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