レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 3月11日 06時41分

I slept in your bed last night. Had dinner with your mom and the whole family. Wore your shoes. Laughed with your cousins. Hugged your sister again and again. Took your dogs to the top of the mountain. Threw rocks with Alba. Read one of your books. Wrapped myself up in your blanket when I got chilly. Spent time with the people you loved the most and talked about you like you were just in the other room, or maybe out running an errand.
Close by. And so alive. I feel you so closely these days but it's a different kind of feeling. It's not as painful anymore. We sat around the table making jokes and everything was so casual, so familiar, I felt a twinge of pain in my heart remembering your ashes in the corner of the bedroom. I didn't sit by the alter this time because... I didn't have to. I felt you in Luigi, in Juli, in Luisa. We made a fire the other day and I realized, none of this would be if it wasn't for you. All of this love. There is so much of it I don't know where to put it.
I told your mom me and Olivia just realized she actually met you, once in Colombia years ago when you were running out the door and we were going to the volcano. I said I cried with the realization that even after you died, you keep showing up! Making new connections. Making friends with my other bestie. Memories I didn't know existed. She laughed and said, I caught the carpenters crying over her the other day, while fixing up some furniture at the house. The carpenters! Crying! Everyone just loved her.
I laughed because it was so typically you, making family out of people you only see once in a blue moon. Making everyone feel special and part of the whole.
I left San José this morning and it's the day of your death and I could have changed my flight but I didn't. Instead I'm sitting on a rock in my garden, watching the dogs play wondering if it's going to rain. I hope so. I always feel you closer when it rains.
Two years. Dos añitos. I've stopped waiting for you to come back but I still see you everywhere I go. Te amo Andre, hasta la luna y de regreso. Por todos los caminos recorridos y los que faltan por recoger. ??????? #amorinfinito #gemela #soul

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