Dazed Magazineのインスタグラム(dazed) - 2月27日 02時46分

What's it like growing up when people mistake you for white? [full article link in bio]

MAIRA HAQUE, 17, PUNJABI PAKISTANI

"Growing up, I often wished I were white because of the xenophobia I faced from my peers. I would be called a ‘Paki’ or a terrorist. It got so bad that whenever there were parent-teacher meetings I would get so much anxiety about bringing my parents to school and I would coach them to speak specifically in English, and to never ever talk in Urdu for fear that someone would overhear and mock me even more.

While white passing privilege is real, it doesn’t protect you from racism within your own community. I often hear Islamophobic comments from my peers who are aware of my ethnicity but don’t expect me to call them out on it because I don’t fit the image of what a ‘Muslim’ person looks like. People say racist things to me because they operate on the assumption that I’m white.
One time I was working as a cashier at a gas station and a man came in rambling about how he hates everyone in the Middle East and if he could, he would kill them all. It was such an eye opening, incredibly scary experience that shook me to my core. I often notice a change in demeanor and attitude when I tell people that I'm a Pakistani Muslim. They either ask insensitive questions under the guise of being "curious" or they completely stop interacting with me.

I often felt as if I had to prove that I was Pakistani enough for the Desi community while simultaneously being "cool" and assimilated enough for my white peers. My identity, quite literally, was in a state of disarray.

Shortly after entering high school I began to learn more about my culture instead of vehemently hating where I came from so much. Thankfully my parents provided a great emotional support system and I slowly began to make more Desi friends and standing up to my peers who dared to racially insult me. Self-love is truly revolutionary and I regret spending so many years full of so much internalised racism." Read 2 more opinions on dazeddigital.com

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