ケリー・オックスフォードのインスタグラム(kellyoxford) - 11月25日 07時41分

BUT SERIOUSLY:: 12 years ago I was 3 hours into labor, numb from an epidural and reading a magazine when I felt something. "I think I need to push?"
"No. You weren't even 3cms on the last check." The nurse lifted the blanket to casually set her gaze on my vagina. I watched as her eyes shifted from indifferent to 100% bulge. Either my vagina was deformed or "DON'T PUSH!" I realized he was crowning. "THAT'S IT?!" I shrieked, "I JUST GOT HERE! I DON'T EVEN GET TO FINISH MY HARPERS BAZAAR? HE IS HERE?!" Dr Allan ran in the room, also casually looked at my vagina, and said, "Give one small push." Henry slid right out, like hey what's up hello. This kid has always been the life of a party, whether he goes missing at the lake and we find him drinking disgusting Pepsi wearing a hat from God knows where or he's the commissioner of his fantasy football league. Henry, you're a real life Ferris Bueller, so kind to other people but you never let me finish a HARPERS BAZAAR. Happy Birthday. ❤️?

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