レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 10月13日 15時56分

I changed my iPhone lock screen photo today. It's been this photo of Andrea since the moment I became coherent enough to use a phone after I found out that she had died and that she wouldn't be standing next to me in a dusty blue dress on my wedding day.
When I had just met Dennis we flew to San José to get my things that she packed up for me from our house when I decided taking off on a moments notice to go see some guy in Aruba was a good idea. I fell in love and she knew so she drove me to the airport in the middle of the night. "I'll probably be back in a week" I said. "He might be an ax murderer." "Sure", she said. "A cute one." Eight months later I came back and we all went to dinner and it wasn't until she made fun of him the way she did with everyone and he actually got the joke that I knew how real it was. She joked about something and he replied with the right amount of sarcasm and they picked food off each other's plates and made fun of me for being a flake and got along like they'd been the boyfriend and the best friend forever. We were three peas one pod even though they'd only just met. It wasn't until she elbowed me raising her eyebrows like "I LOVE him" that I realized that shit... I guess I do too. How right away they were family and everything just fit and even though I was madly in love I didn't know he was the one until just then. I needed her in context to him to understand.
He took this photo of her in a parking lot. We were driving south and she had school so we went for tacos with the puppies and Dennis captured this moment before we hugged goodbye. I didn't know that five years later she would hit a truck driving on the wrong side of the road and I would wake up in the hospital and make this photo my iPhone background just to see her face and remember that once there was a time that didn't make me want to get into a car and die the same way she did except on purpose.
I've looked at her face and felt this moment 400 times a day for the past 19 months. Today I changed this photo. I don't know why but I did and I'll probably change it back in a second but I just felt the need to write this

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